Our Basic Need For Love

The energy of love is extremely powerful. It is a need much like breathing itself.  It is important for us to realize that not all forms of love come in a pretty package.  For example, jealousy is actually a form of love; jealousy is to love what someone else has too much.  Sometimes love can be controlling.  It can feel like love can control your mind and make you do things and see things you’ve never thought to do before. You know the old saying: “Love is Blind”.

 

Love is not to be toyed with.  It is a certain kind of energy that can actually move and change circumstances and people down to the very core.  It is a powerful force of nature. It feels much like a hurricane, a thunder boom or even an earthquake that rattles your very foundation.  We all need love as much as the breath of life itself.  And it is also necessary for our spiritual survival.  Without it, the very fabric of our ethereal existence begins to transmute and disintegrate into shadow.  Ever wonder why many ghosts appear as a shadow?  Because while roaming the earth in their own pain and hunger, they are lacking true love.  Their very essence begins to darken and may appear to us as a dark shadow without much form left.

But what kinds of love do you partake in? Do you share your love with others? Do you use your love to control other people’s actions?  Is your love minuscule? -only allowing little bits and pieces out at a time? Or is your love big and dripping with sexual desire allowing everyone in your path to partake in the experience of your obsession whether they want to or not! Ha!Ha!Ha!  (evil laugh sound effect)

Here is an interesting list of the kinds of love that I’ve experienced through the many readings that I’ve done over the years while working with clients.

(For purposes of this article I am focusing a little bit more on the romantic – marriage type of love, simply because that is the #1 focus of the readings when most clients call me)

1. Love that is shared with many men and women at the same time:  I call that Freedom Love

2. Great feelings of love with no timetables attached and no promises:  Uncommitted Love

3. Friendship Love: Very cool and long lasting.

4. Love with a little bit of “like” mixed in every now and again: It feels like a very balanced love to me.

5. There are feelings of love but not strong enough to invest money into it: Love is there but not suitable for marriage.

6. A very light feeling of love:  Love is there but not strong enough for a relationship.

7. Great love in the beginning and then it got stale: Usually a person new to love.

8. The love is there, then it isn’t, but maybe a little, but is it really love? Confused Love also known as “the grass is greener on the other side”complex.

9. I love you my way or the highway: Controlling love (may be in the form of parental love too)

10. I love you no matter what forever and ever: Unconditional Love, God’s Love, Love from your Pets

11. I love you so much I will sacrifice my life: A fool’s love or uncontrolled co-dependant love ( very self-destructive, yuck ! I hate it when I feel this one in a reading…)

12. A strong foundational higher love: Parental love (most of the time, not always)

13. Always gives love but don’t receive it back: Unrequited love, Karmic Love, Love that really really sucks!! ( I hate this one too, usually people can’t get the other person out of their heads. Ahhhhhh!!!!)

Flower by frankjuarez

Love can be hard to understand. It requires a lot of work to understand.  I am definitely not claiming that I understand it completely myself.  However, I have some tips to help.  When we look at love, we can look at the heart, mind and spirit.  When we look at the heart let’s look at the emotional components: Are we feeling happy, worried, sick in the chest and stomach or all of the above?  Are you happy with this person or always afraid they will leave you? Are you at peace or are you feeling like you are always carrying a burden? Are you sexually attracted to this person?

Next let’s look at the mind or the mental aspects also known as the compatibility.  Do you really like this person? Do you respect them? Are they someone you can be proud of or are you ashamed of them in front of others, especially your family?  What is their character? Do they communicate? Or are you a part-time detective always having to decipher their “foreign language”?  Are they emotionally mature? Or are they a 12 year old child living in a 46 year old body?

Next the spiritual aspects.  The spiritual aspects can be quite difficult to understand simply because we are not taught spirituality in our everyday lives.  Usually when considering the spiritual components it can usually help in making a decision around love: These are questions to ask of yourself when considering love.

1. Do I care for my fellow human?

2. Do I have time to devote to my passion in life?

3. Do I actually need this person in my life?

4. Do I have time to care for others?

5. Do I have an understanding of my own self in connection to my community? In other words, have I found my place in society?

6. Do I have an understanding of God, Universal Love, Spirituality or a continuation of my life after what is so called death?

7. Have I accomplished most of my goals in life?

8. Do I like to help others?

9. Do I feel?

10. Do I like to talk and/or communicate or share my thoughts and feelings with another?

11. Do I like to play?

12.  Okay with #12 I’m cheating a little bit…it’s not totally spiritual, but I’m a spiritual-realist so…the final question is “Can I afford $$$ to love?” Guys if you’re reading this, you know what I’m talkin’ about!

The answers to these questions will give excellent insight into the development of yourself and other’s at the soul level.  It can also give a rough idea of where you are at in your own karmic cycle as far as love is concerned.  It can reveal your areas of blockages, responsibility and how much you are willing to give and receive in love.

We all need love- however not all forms of love may come in a pretty package.  Notice I did not provide much guidance as to the answers to these questions.  That is because the answers are your own to discover and to assess.   Just because it’s love doesn’t mean that it’s good for you.  Choose the right kind of love for yourself that fits for where you are at in your own life.  It’s about being honest with yourself.   The answer to these questions can help you to see better what kind of love you have in your life or what kind of love you may desire.