Boundaries, Where Are They?

June 04, 2019

Each and every time I do a reading, it most often involves boundaries.  I am definitely not claiming to be the expert on boundaries, however, Spirit Guides and Angels give an awful lot of messages around them. For me, boundaries are a sensitive topic, I struggle with it all of the time. Hence the reason for this discussion.


Simply put, boundaries are a part of how we define ourselves each and every day.  Self-fulfillment comes from proper boundaries and standards we set for ourselves.  Break your boundaries and you’ve compromised your happiness in hopes of getting something back. Whether we can admit it or not, in the long-run, most people expect some kind of gain for compromising themselves.  Also, it can be a challenge to even determine what boundaries we have and often times we don’t even know what they are until after things have gone awry.  We break our boundaries everyday.  Such as, accepting food and gifts that we don’t want. Tolerating sex or someone touching us that we don’t want.  We allow other people to define our reality or maybe we expect people to fulfill our needs automatically.


But there is good news! There is no need to worry about whether or not you’ve compromised your boundaries.  We don’t even have to worry about whether we have unhealthy boundaries or not. It’s more important to look at the attitude we have while trying to figure out our boundaries.  If we can look at life as a series of trials and errors that help us to gain more knowledge to better interact with each other, then maybe we can be less judgmental about everything and allow ourselves and others to learn what boundaries are best for each individual.

My clients will call all of the time and fall madly in love with someone after meeting them for the first time and loose complete control.  It can be easy to forget that to appropriate trust is important while building a relationship.  Or many people will just expect and want intimacy from a person after a couple of dates, without realizing that intimacy is usually a step by step process.  Putting a new acquaintanceship on hold until we check for compatibility is one skill I personally have yet to master. Another good boundary skill to have is  revealing a little of ourselves at a time and then checking for the other person’s reaction.  However, this is not something that is just done over night.  It takes many experiences in life to recognize and enact our boundaries.  The message here is to stop, breathe and take the time to allow yourself to figure out what those boundaries are so that relationships can become more fulfilling and happy for you instead of an obligation.


Spiritual guidance is very good at assisting us with boundaries in all areas of our lives such as family, work and parental obligations.  And what about boundaries with our usage of food, alcohol, sex and prescription medications?  The list can go on, right? Although as humans we tend to spend a lot of time in fantasy and we act on impulse and emotions, meditation and following a spiritual practice can assist us in recognizing our boundaries and show us who we are inside. As we follow our own truth in recognizing these boundaries, we can then authentically share ourselves with others and attract better relationships that are real and not phony baloney. We can also have a much easier time living a healthier life that is not riddled with stress.

Once we’ve figured out and acknowledged our boundaries and can stick by them, we are living in our power.  Living in power is truly an attractive trait.


Aromatherapy Recipe for Healthy Boundaries

Put 3 drops of Geranium oil

Put 3 drops of Frankincense oil and

Put 1 drop of Rose oil

all into the same tea light candle.

Light the tea light candle.

Allow to burn all the way down and out (2-3 hours).

While the tea light candle burns, find a safe ,warm, quiet spot to enjoy the aroma that fills the air.  Sit for 5-10 minutes.  Ask your guardian spirits to come closer to you and impart their wisdom in recognizing healthy boundaries for your life. Rest and take refuge. Enjoy the silence.

With Happiness,


Psychic-Medium and Healer