Your Cart is Empty
What is the ego? The ego is that part of ourselves that is conditioned by the wants and needs of our society. It is that part of ourselves that constantly is looking for validation and value from outside ourselves. For example, if I win the lottery, then I will be happy. When I get married that is when I will accept myself as a loving and beautiful person. I need to loose weight to be okay with myself. I want blue eyes so I can feel beautiful inside. I must be better than them to win. If they listen to me it will work because I know. She’s ugly. He’s fat. They’re dumb. I’m good. They’re bad. I want. I need. If this happens then I will be that. The ego is driven by material needs and it is driven by outside expectations that deny our true essence. It shouts and screams in our minds constantly in disapproval and drains us of our life force energy. It is always dissatisfied with ourselves and everyone; things and situations are never enough. If we can just get to the next “thing” then we will feel complete. The ego can drive us completely nuts and it often does. Being driven by materialistic needs and approval from others is accepted as the norm and if you can’t keep up with it, then you are a loser.
Almost always, the ego is louder than our spiritual selves. The thoughts that come from our spiritual higher self comes from the intuition and we must be very quiet to hear it. The ego comes from the conditioned emotional and logically trained mind, which blares out loudly all day long. So, how do we reset the ego to its proper size so that we may first recognize and then hear our higher spiritual true self? The next step toward emotional stability, mental clarity and changing of consciousness is to shrink the ego down. What that often means is to maintain focus on your true self and not on other people’s lives or opinions. When your ego is too large you will feel it in your body. Your body will be in a stressed and tensed state. Your emotions will immediately go down and you will find your thoughts are in an obsessive state. An example of an over active ego would be that you are giving too much energy to other people, by solving their problems or giving unsolicited advise and criticisms. The way that you know you are doing this is when people react angrily at you and tell you to not tell them what to do. They may tell you to mind your own business, or they may hold their disapproval within themselves in resentment and just stop talking to you altogether. You then would not know why you have no friends or why no one speaks to you.
Too Much Ego
A large ego is often a compensation for low-self confidence and fear of failure. For these people, it is much easier and more satisfying to tell other people what to do because our own problems cause us too much anxiety and confusion. It becomes a nice distraction to focus on solving other people’s problems, which always seem so much more obvious than our own. It gives a false sense of self-approval that we are okay because the other person next to us is not okay. However, helping others to the detriment of dealing with your own life is giving away our blessings because our energy could have been spent increasing our own happiness. The real gains to be made are helping ourselves first so that we can better assist others later when we are in better shape. Assisting others in a healthy way only works however, when it is first asked of us to help. Further, it is then better that we only give our help if we can use our higher intuitive self to assess whether it is wise to do so. Self-confidence and self-reliance are aspects that are built up over time by only overcoming personal problems, not by telling people what to do.
It is not egotistic to keep energy to yourself; rather, it is egotistic to force your energy upon others, by giving unsolicited advice and criticisms. When you live someone else’s life for them by making their decisions and coaching them through their problems, your ego is infringing on another person’s ego. You may be helpful, but you are also taking away someone else’s power and ability to trust in themselves. Maybe they had lessons to learn, but because you stepped in, they never learned them and never grew stronger as a result. By changing that person’s life, you are taking on their karma. You have your own karma and burdens to deal with.
When you provide people with unnecessary help, you may find that your efforts often go unappreciated or even backfire. That is because there wasn’t a good balance of energy and boundaries between both parties. They may resent your excessive intrusion into their life, and anything you do is taken for granted or even causes anger. Also, you are behaving under the assumption that you think you know better than they do and can make better decisions than them. It is wisest to let people put in the request for help first before deciding on whether to assist them, just like the higher spirits who do not step in without being asked first, out of respect for your free-will. When the higher spirits aid someone, they provide limited guidance, again out of concern for your free-will and out of knowledge that you have the smarts to figure it out and grow from it. They don’t want to affect your decisions too much or take over your life. That is what dark entities do. People with a bad habit of offering unsolicited help and opinions need to balance their impulse with an inner sense of detachment toward others. Let other people live their lives in the way they choose, unless they specifically request guidance from you.
Diffuse Ego
A diffuse ego is often a compensation for low self-worth or lack of inner guidance. These people may have many abilities and be driven to excel. However, without a strong sense of self, they will always lack inner contentment no matter how much they achieve. Whatever they do or accomplish is never good enough as long as they are constantly gauging other people’s reactions to what they do and relying on outside approval. If you are always making decisions based on what other people are experiencing or on other value systems, then you will not develop a strong sense of yourself. Instead, you are giving away your power and weakening your core.
People who are so outwardly focused on other people’s opinions and expectations easily feel ungrounded because they have become overly sensitive to the emotions and energies of others. They may suddenly change directions because of another person’s passing comment or negative opinion. When they do manage to go their own path, they may feel guilty about it, perhaps for disappointing other people’s expectations. By maintaining focus on yourself and keeping within your boundaries, you will learn to feel good about what you are doing, instead of bringing other people’s negative feelings into your own personal matters and decisions. You will feel more solid to yourself, and other people will notice that you are more stable in mood and energy.
When you are not trusting of your own inner guidance, it could be that you are uncomfortable with yourself and not really know who you are. For these people who are always looking outward, they need to balance that tendency by taking some time to look within. What is truly important to you may be very different than what another person thinks is important for you. The less you venture into their reality of how things should be, the less likely you will lose sight of your own goals and needs. Daily meditation can help these people find their own truth and silence the conflicting ideas in their head. By discovering their core self, they will finally achieve some inner peace and emotional equanimity.
Unconnected Ego
When your ego is not connected to who you really are inside and to your intuition, it can be under the illusion that it is completely alone and that there is nothing beyond the physical plane. As a consequence, you may feel spiritually lost, eternally lonely and completely unsupported. Your ego has only limited knowledge of your life and may cause you to misplace too much energy on materialistic pursuits, competition and comparison with others because this is all it knows. The ego needs a larger and higher perspective, or it will always feel that it never has enough money or is not pretty enough. Some may compensate for these feelings of lack, jealousy and envy by spreading and enjoying gossip, but gossip is a heavy, gross energy that lowers your consciousness. Enjoying the idea that someone is facing hardship is one step away from wishing someone ill. Being connected to a higher power will help you with those strong feelings of lack and tune you into better quality energies of love and plenty. The most centered state of mind in which to understand your situation and make important decisions is when you are connected to your spiritual center, which is to the deepest core sense of yourself - located down deep into your gut. This is a good place to start. This is where to connect and align your brain to no longer be lost.
Author: Rev. Shamalah-Allah Scott
