Each time you speak, psychic energy is contained in the vibration of your voice. Anyone whose had a reading with me knows that I connect to psychic information through the vibration of your voice. I will also connect to the vibration of the first name of the person you are asking about. Asking the right question helps me sift through these millions of bits of information in order to hone in on what you need to know. Ask the right question and you get answers that help you. Most of my work however, involves people asking about how another person feels about them; rarely does anyone ask how they feel about themselves. Let us not confuse this with how you feel about the other person or the situation. I am speaking about how one feels about themselves while in the situation. It can be tricky because it is so easy for us to focus on everyone else when it comes to emotions. Trust me, I of all people understand how important it is to know what is happening with another person. Especially if communication between people have broken down or if people have simply lost their way. Understanding another’s experience is part of my empathic skill and it brings about better understanding and closeness to people that otherwise would just give up. All of this is worthy of discussion and I wouldn’t change how I do what I do for a million dollars! However, my most recent experience has opened my eyes in a new direction. I am learning that what people are going through is not about the other person. It is about how they feel about themselves while going through that experience.
It is an elusive situation. We can literally be blinded by how another person feels about us and completely ignore how we feel about ourselves in the circumstance. It can also be quite scary to even ask ourselves that question, but it can be quiet revealing as well. It can guide us toward the correct goals for ourselves and it can also deter us away from a path of unnecessary difficulty.
Recently a woman called me for a reading to ask about a job offer that she really wanted to take, but it would require a move to the east coast and a separation from a budding relationship. All of the aspects with the move and job looked great. I saw no problem in taking the offer. Of course a geographically inconvenient relationship would be a struggle, but I advised her that it would be worth the risk. As the reading progressed I sensed a lingering doubt about her moving forward in taking this job. Toward the end of our conversation I asked her why I sensed her hesitation in this move? She admitted that she herself felt that it would be a great opportunity, however she wanted to know how her dating partner felt about her and if it would be worth it to stay. Now, being that it is my profession to sense other peoples feelings, I was somehow thwarted! I could not for the life of me see or sense how the other person felt about my client while in this growing romance. Needless to say, I was frustrated and embarrassed that I could not answer, what was for me, such a routine question.
After an uncomfortable space in the conversation, I confessed to my lack of information in this matter. My client was devastated and felt so confused and really did not want to mess up her life with such a rare opportunity in her career path. Just then, like a lightening bolt, I heard “Ask her how she feels about herself”. I hesitated. Again, I heard even louder….”Ask her how she feels about herself!” I went ahead and followed through with the spiritual guidance and asked my client the direct question just as I heard it in my head. With that, she said if she moved to the east coast she would feel so proud of herself and excited about her growth and accomplishments. After so many years of being stagnant and feeling low-self esteem, she finally started to gain confidence in her abilities. Then she continued to say, if she stayed, she would feel like her old self from the past; not taking risks and hiding from challenges. She admitted her feelings for her new relationship was wonderful, but I reminded her that was not the question. The question was, “How do you feel about yourself?”. The answer to that question in making this decision would guide her in the right direction.
Although my client admitted that she still wasn’t sure what she was going to do, it was refreshing to remember how far she’d come in her life. She had spent so many years losing what she had gained; all due to sacrifices in taking risks on other people. She never considered that this opportunity was the time for her to take a risk on herself. She never considered how she felt about herself in this situation. Her mind was so conditioned to only think of others, but at the expense of herself. Her feelings for another person although strong would leave her feeling bad about herself. What she wanted to know from me was if her bad feelings about herself would be worth it, if the other person had even stronger feelings for her. I, fortunately was not able to answer that question, because it would not have given her the correct information to make a good decision. She wanted to continue with her new romance, but now had to decide if it was worth it. How she felt about herself taking the new job versus how she felt about herself staying for a growing romance revealed her truth. It was obvious to me that she would be much happier taking the new job given the answer to the question about how she felt about herself. But I can never judge these situations. Was she ready for what she’d been asking for during all of these years? Did she have the courage to take a chance on herself? Or would she continue the pattern of living her life through how another person feels about her instead of how she felt about herself?
Answering the question: “How Do I Feel About Myself” has helped me personally in a tremendous way. It has given me additional insight into myself as well and it has given me very clear direction to more happiness. However, similar to my client, whether I have the courage to go in that direction is a totally different blogpost. Although the direction of happiness is there for us, we still must make that choice and also consider if we are ready for it. I will have to visit the theme of courage on a different day, but for now learning how to recognize “HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF” are tremendous first steps.
Thank you so much!